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Should you talk to your ex

F ew relationship questions are as polarizing as whether or not you should stay friends with an ex. Anecdotal evidence feeds arguments on both sides — but what do the experts say?


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While some couples can end a relationship and choose to remain friends, this is not always the case. You may unsubscribe at any time.

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Being able to forgive and be secure in that forgiveness is essential before reaching out to an ex. Talking to your ex after the two of you have ended a relationship may be inevitable.

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Ideally, you should avoid talking about contentious topics during the initial painful period for the sake of both of you. Choose Your Coach. BetterHelp is here for you every step of the way, if you want an unbiased, professional ear. If you know that talking to them will lead to you being fake happy for whatever good things are going on in their life, then wait awhile. Consider what it means, what you hope to get out of it, and how to go about it.

They can also work with you on self-esteem, positive interaction, and more. If your ex was the one who initiated your breakup and you're talking to your ex, how can you make them feel regret? This can make him feel regret, unless he has moved on.

When to cut ties with an ex

For more information about BetterHelp as a company, please find us on. If you weren't already talking to them before, talking to them just to hook up with them can lead to drama. Get our newsletter every Friday! Don't keep apologizing or compare your ex to current relationships.

Breaking up is never easy. For those that can maintain the friendship after the split—kudos. Hit the gym and get fit.

How to talk to your ex after it’s over

In such situations, it's normal to want to continue to involve an ex in your life and vice versa by habit. It also isn't advisable to talk to your ex after a breakup right away. I really believe its best for both parties despite what they feel for the other person to let go and move on. It can work well if the ex ends up regretting their decision.

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Not every couple that breaks up needs to cut off all communication. Knowing that, how do you determine when you should talk to an ex and when you should cut the cord? Why risk causing problems for each other by maintaining regular contact? Keep yourself in check. The s that an ex is over you vary from one person to the next. The first thing to do is to meditate. If you are in a good place, reaching out might be less risky. I knew that I wanted my experience to be an opportunity for personal growth.

There aren't any helpful reasons for doing this. You can absolutely have a healthy relationship with your ex, in whatever capacity you need. Show that you care, but don't get so hung up on it that it's all you can think about. Quite often, you may have an ex who still has feelings for you. Anecdotal evidence feeds arguments on both sides — but what do the experts say?

After breaking up with someone, your first priority should be healing your wounds, evaluating your needs, and if applicable tending to your family. Should you avoid talking to your ex, or is it okay to talk to them? Cry, sob, be miserable. One of the most common issues that arise when people are working on getting back together is a lack of patience.

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You're in! After all, would you like to dwell on that right away?

Should you stay friends with an ex? here's what experts say

Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? No, and this is especially true for those who were in an abusive situation. In truth, most breakups are unexpected and change your daily life overnight. Just because you're thinking about something you'd like to say doesn't mean that it has to come out. Here's What Experts Say. How will you fill it? Without being a boot-licker, ask how the important people in their life are doing. If you are emotionally or physically vulnerable, try reaching out to a trusted family member or friend instead.

Someone always ends up getting hurt. It will hurt as hell in the beginning, but it WILL get better in time. If you broke up with your ex and things have cooled down, it may be okay to admit you miss them and that you broke up with them.

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This can be a painful process, but it's necessary if you want to heal and move on. Raw emotion makes it hard to discern your motives for contacting an ex. This can make your ex feel regret and want you back. Avoid contacting an ex who dumped you. Keeping yourself from reaching out to an ex can be hard, especially if you have spent most of your time with them or if your relationship lasted a long time and you used to talk to them every day. But only if it's out of genuine concern and not because you want to start something back up again If your relationship ended because there was abuse or you felt that you were in danger, it may be best to avoid contact.

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Work on yourself first and foremost. This site requires anonymous cookies and third party services to function properly. Believe me, I come from both sides of the fence.

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If you can't stop yourself from bashing your ex on social media, it's best to stay away from it for a while. But learning how to talk to them as an ex, and not as a partner is a crucial part of moving on with your life. As human beings, communication is crucial because it allows us to express ourselves to one another. For others, it may take a good month for the breakup to settle before they realize that they should get back together.

If it was a respectful, mutual parting, talking to your ex may be just fine. In that case, they will, but only after a bit. We ended things with love. Instead, the process of letting go is often slow and fraught with difficulty.

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The best way you can make him regret is to live your best life possible. The no contact rule and no talk rule is often used as a manipulation approach by individuals who want to get the attention of or garner favor from someone, especially an ex.

37 girls on whether or not it’s ever okay to talk to an ex

Although friends and family members may have differing opinions, health professionals agree: most situations require as little contact as possible between exes-at least for a while. If the two of you ended on agreeable-even friendly-terms, reaching out might be okay. You do love this person, but you need to understand that when a relationship severs, you don't want to be too overwhelming or try to jump straight into a relationship again. The best is still to avoid talking about any of this and to focus on subjects that have nothing to do with the breakup.

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We ask each other about career advice, sometimes personal choice or about health and life. You want to make sure you're talking to them again for the right reasons. You keep telling yourself there's a reason it's over and that you're happy with your decision. BetterHelp specializes in online therapy to help address all types of mental health concerns. At the most, Especially if the breakup was recent. Oftentimes, if you broke up for the right reasons, keeping in touch will only aggravate the emotional wound.